MY NEW FALL SCHEDULE


Los Angeles, May 22 (AP) - Before a gathering of immediate family members, and dog, I unveiled my new fall schedule today. Last year was not a good one, so changes were anticipated, and there are quite a few.

The big surprise is on Monday nights, where longtime favorite Monday Night Football has been dropped in favor of court-mandated anger management seminars at a nearby high school. On Sunday nights I'll still barbecue, but look for a mid-season replacement of either pizza or Chinese food when the weather turns. Thursday Night Bowling has been cancelled, the victim of a bad back. As for the kids, the shaky Tuesday night lineup of cartoons, bath, book, then bed, will remain intact—for now. Meanwhile, Wednesday's "Ladies Night Out" theme has been replaced by self-defense classes at the local Y for the missus—and anger management experiments at home for me and the kids. The Friday Night Movie is gone, replaced by the Friday Night Fights (formerly the Monday Night Fights). They say that satire closes on Saturday night—we'll see if that axiom applies to sarcasm as "Knocks, Slams, and Putdowns" takes over at 8 PM, with "Taking the Dog for a Late Walk" returning at 10.

In addition, I announced the scheduling of a ten-part mini-series, "Vacation." It's the true story of a fishing trip I take with a couple of friends that turns into a two-week poker game/beer blast. I also reluctantly renewed "Change the Channel," which will return in its usual place—during moments of high drama in sporting events.

Here's the new lineup:

 8:00 PM9:00 PM10:00 PM

Monday       Anger...                   Anger(cont)                Anger (cont)

Tuesday       Cartoons                 Bath/Book/Bed...         Sleep

Wednesday   Cartoons                Cartoons                     Cartoons

Thursday     Watch TV...            Watch TV (cont)         Watch TV (cont)

Friday          Friday Night Fights...                                 Dog...Walk

Saturday      Knocks, Slams, and Putdowns...

Sunday        Barbecue (Pizza/Chinese food a/o 11/15)


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