BIO


Matt Neuman at one time was involved in some kind of secret government work, but he won't talk about it. (Must be interesting!) Currently (he won't discuss his past) he is at work on a new novel, which he is dictating, using the latest speech recognition software, into his word processor, printing it, recording the text as an audiocassette, and then playing the audiocassette through the speech recognition software again—repeating the process, in all, seven times. He is looking for a publisher.

Once the book (or tape) takes off, Mr. Neuman plans to clear his name in a number of minor, but nagging lawsuits stemming from an unintentionally non-profit clinic he operated for eight months in 1994 under a different name.

Moving from the pristine beauty of Vancouver, British Columbia to the steamy, sweaty swamps of Central Florida, Neuman would first have to move to Vancouver, which is out of the question.

When prodded to describe his secret government work, Neuman would only mumble under his breath that it had something to do with "the unusual 38-degree angle of connection between the navigational sensors controlling bomb triggers on the Navy's advanced Trident D-5 multiple-warhead missile." That's as much as he would say, or that we (Neuman) had time for.

Neuman now regrets saying some things, but believes in freedom of speech, even if it's abhorrent, or his own.


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