First Famous Outlines

" Which is lit Premier? "

by Bud Abbott


Lou Costello

COSTELLO: Hé, Abbott, say to me about this new club of ball downtown. I hear that they are really good.

ABBOTT: They are, Costello.

COSTELLO: Well, which is on the team? Which are their names?

ABBOTT: I will say to you that, the players nowadays, they sure have some funny names, names goofy...

COSTELLO: Well, for example, which is lit first?


COSTELLO: Is this what I want to know. Who is lit first?




COSTELLO: Who is the first baseman?

ABBOTT: It is its name, which.

COSTELLO: Who is his name?

ABBOTT: Right-hand side. Its name is which.

COSTELLO: Thus, somebody named who plays the first base?

ABBOTT: With precision.

COSTELLO: I see. Which is the name of the type on the second basis?

ABBOTT: You are right. What is the name of the type on the second basis.

COSTELLO: Which is its name?

ABBOTT: What is its name. Its name is what.

COSTELLO: And third base?

ABBOTT: I do not know.

COSTELLO: You do not know his name, or is its name me do not know?

ABBOTT: Its name is me do not know.

COSTELLO: Fascination. Thus, primarily, all the players on this team have names which are answers to the questions, or are pronouns which can be easily interpreted like answers to the questions. Do you have a jug?

ABBOTT: Tomorrow.

COSTELLO: And a glove of baseball?

ABBOTT: Today.

COSTELLO: It must be muddling like hell.

ABBOTT: You do not badinez.

COSTELLO: To tell me their names well, thank you, bud.

ABBOTT: You are welcome, Lou.

COSTELLO: Goodbye.

ABBOTT: Goodbye.

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